Psalm 48:14 – For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.
As Bobby and I continue to search and ask why God has brought the unrelenting pain of isolation and separation into ours lives, we turn again and again to the only guidance and guide we can rely on for complete truthfulness. God’s Holy Word is our map for our guidance, and the Holy Spirit is our constant companion and guide.
With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, God has brought us to the Book of Job before, but recently, God has directed us back again to this surprising book of suffering, Satan’s attacks, God’s goodness, and our own pride or others and trusting in God.
Bobby and I have been in a bottomless mournful place since January 2013. We have struggled, wrestled, cried, yelled, prayed, and fasted to move heaven and earth for answers from God to understand why He has allowed three different strong raging violent storms to come upon us all at the same time.
In readingDr. Stanley’s Devotion for January 16, 2017, Testing Builds Endurance, Dr. Stanley asked this question, “ Why Would A Loving Heavenly Father allow His children to go through terrible trials and experience sorrow?” When I read this question, it flooded my soul of a past bitter sweet trial that examined my faith and reminded me that God is trustworthy to see me through all my raging storms whether I caused them or not.
Am I a true disciple and follower of Christ, or am I an uncommitted pretender?
It has been over three painful, heart breaking, years since someone I love dearly has called me a hypocrite and other cutting hurtful words. As I unfolded the letter that this individual wrote, I was frozen. I could not believe that I was reading this type of letter from this individual. The words that were in this letter could not be from this person.
The cutting words not only stabbed my heart but it was the statement after the cutting words that have torn my heart into a million pieces. I was told that our relationship could not be restored. There was no explanation for either the cutting words or for our relationship to be cut.
My very first crush was in elementary school. He was it. I thought he was the most divine human being on this earth. But what did I know in elementary since he did not even know my name much less that I was even on this planet.
My first true love came when I was nine. I accepted Christ as my personal Savior. During this time, several tragic events happened in my life.
Through these events, I began to search what is “Love” and who is “Love”. At this time, church had become a part of my mother’s and my life as we searched for the Lord’s heartbeat.