Believing The Lord’s Heartbeat

The “C” Word

 Two years after the tragic death of my father, my mother sat me down and told me that she had cancer. This was news that turned our feet toward God not away from Him. My mother did not blame God for my father’s tragic death neither did she blame God for cancer.

James 4:8Come near to God and he will come near to you.

My mother was willing to yield to God’s authority and will. She not only committed her life to Him, but she helped me to do the same. She was willing to follow God where ever this road was taking us.

When we submit to God and follow Him, He will have lessons inside of lessons. At this time, I had no idea the first lesson much less another lesson was within the lesson.

The doctor told my mother that the trauma of my father’s death is what probably caused the two knots on her right thyroid gland to come from the dark into the light.

The first lesson was do not let go of God’s hand no matter what the circumstances look like on the outside.  Isaiah 41:10So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

The second lesson was the cancer that was hiding quietly in my mother’s body.

1 Corinthians 4:5….. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. ……

God will expose the motives of men’s hearts! I needed desperately to know the motives of my father’s heart.  I loved him and I wanted to know why he turned to alcohol to solve his problems instead of turning to God.

The answer to my question concerning my father did not come until I was in my thirties.This was the compelling force that drove me to come near to God as I grew from a child through my teen years and into my adult years.

1 John 2:1-14, v-14 – I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.

Each stage of life in the Christian pilgrimage builds upon the other. As children learn about Christ, they grow in their ability to win battles with temptation. As young adults move from victory to victory, they grow in their relationship with Christ. Older adults, having known Christ for years, have developed the wisdom needed to teach young people and start the cycle all over again.

Through my mother’s reassurance, I knew I had to find answers about my father. She told me that my father did not accept Christ as his personal Savior until they were married. However, they stopped going to church because of a painful situation that happened to my dad at church.

Since my dad was a new believer, he was not looking to God but people. We cannot look to people because they will disappoint us. God shows us complete love and truth. God’s love is not shaded with sin. God is without sin.

When God revealed 1 John 2:1-14 to me, I began to understand my dad’s behavior. My dad’s heart was kind, generous, loving, and caring, but he did not have the maturity in his Christian walk to overcome his battle with alcohol.

God not only wanted me to understand why my dad struggled with his addiction, but God was preparing me for something even deeper: a lesson inside a lesson.